This was true from the very beginning when I took too long to get settled to start the interview. I think that if I were actually to act like this with a worker than I might make them feel uncomfortable because s/he might interpret my behavior as being either that I was nervous or that I did not want to be talking to her (Blake, Mouton, & Solving, 1984) I am glad that I was able to incorporate more sensitivity to the messages that I might be sending to another person through even small examples of my body's posture or something like a hand gesture
Therefore I shifted to a cooperative power stance. In such a strategy, the person who enters the interaction with more power, or who enters an interaction and is perceived by other people as having more power, has the responsibility to demonstrate that s/he does not feel superior (Costantino & Merchant, 1996)
Therapy is, after all, based in the idea that the therapist and the client are fundamentally equal, even if the therapist is an expert. What I found in the readings as well as in reading background literature was that quite often the best way in which conflicts can be resolved in a win-win manner is for the manager to set aside much of the rules of hierarchy for the period of the conflict resolution (Dana, 2007)
I once again demonstrated these two skills at about the 3:40 mark in the video when I nodded at what the speaker was saying and replied with a "I understand" statement in which I provided a summary of what she had said, ending with a question to her to check in to see whether I had gotten the gist of her statement correct. I was also aware of the importance of body language at this point because I found that I had leaned slightly towards her without even realizing it and was making eye contact in a more direct way than I usually do (Derber, 1979)
" That the two should blend together is not at all surprising when one looks at the definition of each terms. "Active listening" requires providing feedback to a speaker in a way that makes him/her -- or them -- believe that they have been accurately and authentically heard (Mineyama et al
Looking back as I watch the video, I do not believe that combining different approaches is detrimental. I believe that in some measure it is most effective to act as naturally as possible while also being aware inside of what one can do to promote an atmosphere of a win-win possible outcome (Robertson, 2005)
What I found in the readings as well as in reading background literature was that quite often the best way in which conflicts can be resolved in a win-win manner is for the manager to set aside much of the rules of hierarchy for the period of the conflict resolution (Dana, 2007). Workers are much more likely to be amenable to making fundamental changes in their attitude and habits as well as being much more likely to be able to become and remain dedicated to the company's philosophy and strategy if they feel that their concerns and daily conflicts will be met with an honest attempt to resolve the situation (Rowe, 1990)
A situation at work would more than likely have an element of power in it because one person is likely to have more power in terms of the company than the other. However, a constant awareness of a different in status and/or power is very much non-conducive to producing a win-win situation in which both people believe that they have been heard by the other, that each of them has had their problems validated by the other, and that the solution is as fair as possible for each party (Segal, 1997)
This may seem a peculiar way to set the conditions for a management intervention at work, but no matter what the formal situation is, one of the most fundamental ways in which to create a situation where conflicts can be authentically addressed in a way that is likely to be effective over time, is an acknowledge that each person involved has a valid perspective (Rowe, 1990). Looking at the moment just after the one that I was discussing above demonstrates how difficult it can be to validate another person's feelings and statements even when one is trying actively to create a situation in which power is generated by everyone who is present (Slaikeu & Hasson, 1998)
But her posture, which was much more stiff than usual, which I think reflected her discomfort with my behavior as much as her being uncomfortable with the topic, which was the discussion of our friendship. Even although this was a topic that we both had an equal stake in since it about our friendship I was in a position to set the mood and so I had a greater responsibility to be thoughtful (Vangelisti, Knapp, Daly, 1990)